“We have to stop getting offended at every little thing”, said a guy who didn’t know whether calling Puerto Ricans a pile of trash is racist or not. The beardy Putin lover wants us to grow a spine, man up and stop being such snowflakes.
“Hey, let’s appreciate racist humor for its educational potential! Where else are you going to find out the totally truthful tropes about non-white people?”, implores us a beardless guy who has gotten consistently and lavishly paid for failing to be either funny or informative for any randomly chosen instant of time in his entire life.
“Liberals are offended by everything! What a bunch of wusses!”, say the folks who made “The basket of deplorables” their rallying cry for four full years.
You know, people have often accused me of only supporting the Democrats because I want to “bring the Communist Rusher” to America. Indeed, this is pretty much the essence of Trump’s campaign: that immigrants come to the US and bring their shithole countries with them. I mean, to me, it may seem nonsensical that someone who grew up standing in line for inedible sausages would want to experience these unforgettable moments again. But if you are a kind of person who believes that the circumstances of one’s birth once and for all defines who they are and what they will do if given a chance, I guess, this is the only thing that can make sense.
In reality, though, there is nothing I want less than seeing my childhood being played out on America’s shores. And, more pertinently, there is nothing that reminds me of both Soviet and post-Soviet Russia more than the Republican Party of the United States. And it’s not just because both entities are enormous piles of garbage in every possible sense of the word.
In the early 2000s, just as Russia was getting ready to abandon its short-lived flirtation with democracy and giddily plunge back into tyranny and imperialism, criticism of America began dominating its discourse. It was as if Russians tried to frantically apologize to themselves for a decade or so of worshipping everything American-made, from the freedom of speech to the soap operas. And one of the first targets of Russian scorn was the “politkorrektnost”, America’s ostensible PC police. In general, the trope went like this: “America’s freedom of speech is totally fake because you can’t call blacks Negroes, can’t compliment women on their looks and can’t tell a joke without losing your job!”
That last part upset Russians terribly, which is not a surprise to anyone who has lived there for any period of time. Russians would rather lose their liver to brake fluid than their right to tell vulgar, offensive ethnic jokes and use racial slurs, particularly towards Jews and dark-skinned people. Back then, Russian soccer fans, for example, knew no better entertainment than to throw a banana at a player of African descent. Many a newspaper page was then dedicated to earnest discussion about why anyone should be offended at what was both a funny joke and an offer of food. “Do we want to become Americans who are always offended at everything, and where a white man is constantly thwarted?”, Russians asked themselves, rhetorically.
Well, give credit where credit is due. Now, two decades later, Russians have utterly crushed American “politkorrektnost”: ethnic and racial jokes are totally fine, including on state TV (which, in 2020, proudly broadcast this insanely racist blackface skit about Barack Obama), domestic violence has been decriminalized, and Russian soccer players never participate in racial solidarity gestures such as pregame kneel-downs.
So, then, the Russian society must be tougher, manlier, less whiny than the American one, right? Everyone appreciates jokes, nobody is offended by anything, right? Right? Right. Unless you say something that the new Russian laws deem offensive to the president. Or the military. Or god. Or people who believe in god. Or people who hate gays. Or people who love Putin.
“Offending the feelings of believers”, “Diminishing the dignity of the President”, dancing in church, twerking in front of a World War II monument, rainbow flags: all of these things, and more, are now quite literally illegal in Russia and can get you a term in prison. I am not sure how folks like that define masculinity, but I can guess that someone like, let’s say, the hockey player Ivan Provorov would probably exemplify it.
I mean, look at the guy. He is the very picture of an ancient Slavic hero. He’s got a beard, he’s got Viking hair, he’s got orthodox Christianity, a helmet, skates, a goddamn stick. But show him a jersey with a rainbow design, and he will run, hide, call his agent and loudly complain about how it offends him. I presume, this is because he thinks that putting it on will immediately make him gay. Which is unlikely, since gay people aren’t historically attracted to men without balls.
Oh, and by the way, in case you are wondering, it wasn’t Provorov who got cancelled by the NHL in the end. It was the Pride jersey. Which is what always happens, you see.
And so it happens, friends, that the side that bullies you for not laughing at racist jokes, scorns you for not appreciating sexist remarks and berates you for being too touchy-feely about “locker room talk” will always, without exception and given a chance, be the one criminalizing and punishing things that offend personally them.
The side that sold mugs with “Liberal Tears” on them and t-shirts that proclaimed “FUCK YOUR FEELINGS” was the one that lost all of its shit when Obama talked about clinging to guns and Jesus. The side that says that jokes about Puerto Ricans’ being trash are funny and informative wants to jail people for burning the flag. That side that railed against cancel culture took away Colin Kaepernick’s job forever. And hey, just as I type it, this very side is in the process of losing all of its shit because Biden has, supposedly, called them garbage. Not because of where they were born but because of whom they choose to support.
Back when I still worked in Russian media, I staunchly forbade people to tell antisemitic jokes in my presence. Most Russians were scandalized at this, since they weren’t used to a Jew’s asserting himself in this way. For them, a normal reaction for a Jew was to obsequiously laugh in hopes of being accepted as one of the boys. They accused me of being a bore, a square poisoned by America’s “politkorrektnost”, someone who stifles freedom of speech and has no sense of humor. Needless to say, their reaction was very different when I offered to tell a joke that targeted Russian alcoholism or stupidity.
Don’t be fooled by any of the bad-faith outrage or any patronizing admonishments to “just relax and stop being offended.” Their ultimate goal is to make their racism and hate acceptable and your objections to them seem unreasonable. They want to keep their right to shut you up. And only theirs. They want to normalize their hatred and denigration based on race, ethnicity or gender while outlawing your criticism based on political rhetoric.
The example of Russia, the right-wingers lodestar nowadays, makes it perfectly clear that “outlawing” is in no way a metaphor. If they get a chance, they will turn their hateful vision into a fascist reality.
You are completely correct about this!